The Torrid Tale of No-H-Sara
It's been a while since I have made a post, namely because my life outside of dating has been nothing short of crazy lately. However, I did manage to find time to have a couple crazy adventures, all of which revolved around a girl we will call No-H-Sara.
I was in Las Vegas during the first part of November for a work related convention. I got sick a couple days before I was scheduled to leave and spent the majority of those last two days in bed trying to get well. Unfortunately, this sickness also meant that I forfeited my scheduled date with PartyGirl. By the time I got to Vegas, I was feeling better, but was by no means ready to enjoy all that the city is famous for. When I wasn't at the convention, I spent the majority of the first two days under the covers in my hotel room. I should also mention that I was sharing the room with a good friend of mine from college, who also happened to be in town for the same show, and his wife (also a friend from college).
By the third night, my body still wasn't quite ready for alcohol, but I did feel like being social and doing a bit of gambling. I headed down to the blackjack tables to try my luck. I wasn't there long before a somewhat attractive girl plopped down next to me. She wasn't really striking enough to take me out of the game, but I talked with her for a bit all the same. Found out she was in town to attend her mother's wedding, which was to take place in a helicopter over the strip. Gee, doesn't sound like there would be any baggage there; Next!
Although my first dozen or so hands had been quite profitable, it wasn't long before my luck swung in the other direction. I was sitting on a pretty good mound of extra chips when a new dealer took over the table. I think her title was something along the lines of "cleaner," because it wasn't long before I was down to a paltry handful of chips. Fortunately, her shift ended before I was wiped out completely and I was able to start making my way back to breaking even. I was about ¾ of the way there when a young blond sat down on my left. I was still sweating my losses, so I didn't pay her too much mind. However, once I had eliminated my debt, I started to pay a little more attention to her and throw some game her way. We talked for quite a bit, turned out she, too, was in town for the same convention and it was her first time in Vegas (she was from Connecticut). She also mentioned that she wanted to check out Rum Jungle while she was in town. We continued to chat and I started paying less and less attention to the game.
The night started to head rapidly towards morning and, given that I still wasn't feeling that great, I figured it best if I called it a night. Imagine my surprise when I looked down at my chips and noticed that I had nearly doubled my investment. Well, feeling a little better about how the night was going, I went ahead and gave my luck with the ladies a shot as well. I wasn’t feeling well enough to try anything with the blond that night, so instead I offered up my cell phone number and an offer to meet at Rum Jungle the next night. She eagerly accepted and we both went on our way.
The next day, I never heard from the blond, so I assumed that our paths wouldn't cross again. That night, I went to a show with my friend and his wife. Not two minutes after we got in line to be seated, my cell phone goes off. I didn't recognize the number, or even the area code, for that matter, but answered it anyway. Turns out my new friend from the night before wanted to meet up and go to the club. I told her that I was going to the show but could meet her later in the evening.
I met up with No-H-Sara and her sister after the show and we hit the club. The place was pretty packed, so we went straight to the bar. After a few rounds, it was on to the dance floor. It wasn't long before the two of us were all over each other. We took a break to get a few more drinks and then danced for another 30 minutes or so. At this point, it was about 3:00 in the morning, so I suggested that get out of there. The two of them wanted to check out Caesar's, so we cabbed over to the casino. After walking around for a few minutes, TheSister declared that she was tired and was going to head back to their room to lie down. No-H-Sara told her to call us when she got back there to let us know that she'd made it safely. About 30 minutes passed with no word from TheSister. No-H-Sara was starting to get worried, so I suggested we head over to their room to make sure everything was ok.
They were staying at Treasure Island, so we worked our way over there. When we arrived in the room, TheSister was sitting in bed, consuming a midnight snack. The three of us sat around for a few minutes watching some TV and then TheSister went outside for a smoke. It didn't take long before No-H-Sara and I were all over each other. Next thing I know, clothes start coming off and things are starting to progress nicely. Then, we hear TheSister at the door, letting herself back in. It took all of 2 seconds for us to tear the covers away from the bed and bury our half-naked bodies underneath.
TheSister came back in the room and returned to her spot on the other bed. Not that it took much in the way of powers of deduction, she sensed something was up and a minute or two later announced that she was going down to the casino for a bit. The minute the door closed, No-H-Sara and I were back at it. Unfortunately, the casino didn't keep TheSister entertained for long and before we knew it, she was trying to let herself back in the room. The combination of frustration, alcohol and a serious lack of blood in my head led me to seek desperate measures. I put my clothes back on and stepped into the hallway. Cell phone in hand, I called up my buddy's phone to see if he was in our room. Two things deserve mentioning at this point; the first is that it is now 5:30 in the morning, the second is that my friend and his wife are fairly conservative people, by Vegas standards, and were probably in bed before midnight. It goes without saying, then, that his phone went straight to voicemail. Not one to be deterred in the face of carnal pleasures, I returned to the room and asked to use the phone book. Yellow pages in hand, I returned to the hallway and began to thumb through the casino listings until I found our hotel. Minutes later, I was connected to my room where my friend's wife answered the phone. I think the conversation went something like this:
"Hey _____, it's Dating Fool."
"wha…huh…what's up?"
"Any chance I can use the room for a little bit?"
"ummm, ok, I guess we don't want to stand in the way of progress. ______, wake up!"
"Thanks, I appreciate it; breakfast on me tomorrow."
No-H-Sara and I make our way back to my [now empty] hotel room and proceeded to have an absolutely amazing time. Hell, I think the people next door smoked a cigarette when we were done.
I skipped town the next day and was so wiped out that I fell asleep around 5:30 in the evening. When I awoke the next morning, there was a message on my voicemail from No-H, thanking me for a wonderful night and wondering if we might be able to meet up again at some point in the future. I don't know if it was the residual afterglow or if I just wanted to make sure that everything I'd experienced in the last 48 hours wasn't a dream, but I went against my better judgment and violated a cardinal rule:
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
I called her up the following day and things went quite well. It wasn't long before we started to talk on a regular basis and even made plans for her to come out and visit the weekend after Thanksgiving. At the time, things were going really well. I enjoyed talking to her on the phone and was genuinely looking forward to her visit. It was her first time on the west coast, so I was even more excited that I was going to get to play tour guide and show her everything the west coast had to offer.
Thanksgiving came and went and the next day I picked up No-H-Sara from the airport. Naturally, the circumstances of the situation (meeting in Vegas, flying 3000 miles across the country to get together, etc.) made things slightly uncomfortable at first. I took her back to my place so she could get settled and relax from her travels. She jumped in the shower and I sat down to watch some TV. About 20 minutes later, she called for me to join her in my bedroom. I walked in to find her completely naked and coyly poised on my bed. All I could think was that this was just too good to be true.
Her visit lasted about four days. We had a fabulous time together; taking in all the sights of the city, sharing some great meals, and just thoroughly enjoying each other's company. In fact, her visit really opened my eyes and made me appreciate how lucky I am and how great it is to live out here. The only downside of her visit came at the airport as I was dropping her off. Tip-off #1 that things were a little off-kilter: She had the waterworks wide open as we were sitting in the airport saying good-bye. Now, I can understand being a little sad about leaving, but to be totally emotional and crying when leaving someone you've only known for a few days seems a little extreme to me. At the time, I just wrote it off, but perhaps I should have been paying a little more attention.
After she left, we continued to talk on the phone and things continued to go well. So well, actually, that she made plans to come out for New Year's Eve. Believe it or not, I didn't have a problem with this at the time. So, all was well and good and I was quite content with the situation at hand. That is, until about two weeks before Christmas.
I had just come back from lunch and there was a message on my voicemail that a Fed-Ex package had been dropped off for me at the front desk. Odd, I thought to myself, as I wasn't expecting anything. I picked up the box and made my way back to my desk. On the way, I noticed that it had come from No-H's company. I sat down in my office and proceeded to open the package. Inside the box was a second box which had originated at the Hershey factory. I opened this box to find myself staring face to face with a three pound slab of chocolate in the shape of a computer. On the screen were the words "Can't wait to see you!" It was then that I realized I might have a bit of a problem on my hands. If I thought the chocolate was a bad sign, then I was really in for a surprise later that night.
It turned out that her company holiday party was that same evening. As anyone who has attended a good, company-sponsored holiday party knows, the alcohol is very free-flowing and many people take advantage of that, often leading to regretful acts of stupidity. It seems that No-H-Sara was having a great time at her party, judging by the messages she left me throughout the night. Unfortunately, it would be these messages that would mark the turning point in our non-relationship. Word to the wise: when you've known someone for a matter of weeks and perhaps hung out for a total of a few days, it's probably not the wisest move to leave messages telling the other person that you're falling in love with them or that they need to move out to the east coast to be with you.
By the end of the night, I knew things were headed downhill fast. Not only were we on different pages, but we were in totally different books! Suddenly, having her come out for New Year's didn't seem like the best idea in the world. I thought about things for a few more days and then decided to tell her exactly how I was feeling. I let her know that I wasn't looking for anything serious and that I was pretty much emotionally void at the moment. There were a lot of tears shed during that conversation, which, to me indicated that things were even worse than I thought. In the end, she told me that she was glad that I let her know where I was coming from and wanted to know if she should still come out for New Year's. Not listening to the voices in my head, and figuring I could survive a few days, I told her that it was up to her if she still wanted to spend that time with me. Naturally, she opted to take her chances.
The time leading up to New Year's Eve was a little uneasy for me. Instead of looking forward to her visit, I was starting to dread the time that I was going to have to spend with No-H. Making this even worse was when I learned that she was going to be here for more than just a few days; six to be exact.
The day before New Year's Eve arrived and I found myself making my way to the airport to pick up No-H-Sara. As with her first visit, there was a bit of an initial awkwardness, albeit for different reasons this time. But, by the time we got back to my place, things seemed to be ok. The next day went fairly smoothly and before long, New Year's Eve was upon us. We'd planned on hanging out at a friend of a friend's boyfriend's house party. When we got there, there place was kind of dead and the boyfriend turned out to be a bit of a tool. Fortunately, there were some other people from the east coast there, so No-H-Sara was able to occupy herself while I made the rounds. After midnight, the party was definitely struggling, so I tried to make the best of the situation. I told No-H-Sara to meet me in the bathroom in two minutes. Shortly thereafter, we were ringing in the New Year in a whole new way. We left the party a few hours later and went back to my place to crash for the night.
Another glaring difference between this trip and the previous one was when we were sleeping in my bed together. The first time around we spent most of the night in each other's arms. This time around, however, I was more concerned about getting a good night's sleep and pretty much hugged the edge of the bed all night long. Yet another sign, although it was on my behalf this time.
Ben Franklin said it best when he proclaimed that "fish and houseguests stink after three days." By the time New Years day rolled around, I was ready for the week to be over. Things were obviously not well between the two of us and it was making me fairly uncomfortable. I found myself trying to stay in bed as long as humanly possible to keep the day as short as possible. I kept telling myself that it was only a matter of days and that I would persevere. I think everyone has been in a situation where they can no longer put up with another person and everything the other person does simply annoys or infuriates. Things were rapidly escalating to this point.
The day after New Year's Day, No-H-Sara and I went to the mall for a bit to hang out. At one point, I got a call on my cell phone from a good friend of mine and No-H-Sara left while I took the call. In the few minutes that I had, I informed him on the status of No-H's stay and how things were rapidly deteriorating. It was nice talking to someone else about the situation and I felt better when we got off the phone. After we left the mall, No-H-Sara started to feel really sick and nauseas, so we went back to my place where she could lie down for a bit.
Fortunately, she started to feel better by the time night fell, so I called up some friends to join us on the town. We started off at a bar downtown with the intention of going to a club later in the night. One beer turned into three or four and we just ended up staying there for the night, however. During our stay there, I guess No-H-Sara confided in one of my friends that the trip was a bad idea and that things weren't going well. Apparently, there were some tears mixed in as well. I have yet to get the full story from my friend, but I'm certainly curious as to everything that was said.
The next day was Saturday, also known as the second-to-last day. We were hanging out in my room, mid-afternoon, when the friend who I'd talked to at the mall the day before called me up. Not giving the situation a second thought, I went ahead and picked up my phone. Before I can deliver any sort of warning or indication of my current state of affairs, my friend says, "so, how's the tour of duty coming along? Is No-H-Sara still annoying you?" The second the words started to come through the phone, I knew things were going to get ugly. I had the volume turned up relatively high on the phone and the keypad was locked so my efforts to frantically turn the damn thing down failed miserably. Before I could even comprehend what was being said and the inherent volatility of what's going on, No-H-Sara jumps up and runs out of the room, and continues until I hear the front door slam. So, there I am, standing in the middle of my room, totally dumbfounded as to everything that just happened, holding my phone out at arm's length, wondering what to do next.
The nice guy in me knew that the right thing to do was to chase after No-H-Sara as quickly as possible and squelch everything immediately. However, the devil on the other shoulder jumped over to where the nice guy was and delivered up one hell of a beating, reminding us both what kind of turmoil I'd been living with for the last few days. Thus, instead of doing what was probably the right thing, I let things simmer for a short while before trying to track No-H-Sara down. When I did find her, she was obviously upset and very hurt. I tried to tell her that my friend had overstated things and I only meant that things had been uncomfortable between us (which was true). After all, it wasn't my intention at any point to be vindictive.
All the same, the game was over. She immediately began trying to find a flight home. Unfortunately, there wasn't anything available that night, but she was able to book something for early the next morning. Given the circumstances, she also went ahead and booked a hotel room for the night. And that was that. The tale of No-H-Sara came to an instantaneous halt.
The ride to the hotel was predictably uncomfortable and filled with the many questions that usually accompany the close of these sorts of affairs. Her last words to me were, "I hope I have everything, but if I left anything, I will send you an email with an address that you can mail it to."
So, what can be learned from all of this? Well for starters, women need to wake up and realize that romance doesn't usually happen like it does in the movies (same thing goes for guys and porn, by the way). Quite simply, movies, such as, Sleepless in Seattle and Serendipity need to be filed under fantasy instead of romantic comedy. And, we all claim that we hate games and want people to be honest, but really, a little mystery helps keep things fresh and interesting; bluff your way through a few hands before laying everything out on the table. Not doing so puts unnecessary pressure on the other person, and no one needs that right off the bat. The first part of a potential relationship is fun because everything is light and carefree. Finally, I think I'm getting old enough where I need to start trusting myself a little more. A lot of pain an agony could have been avoided if I had just sacked up and told No-H-Sara not to come for New Year's. There were too many potential problems surrounding the whole thing and I should have simply been mature enough to see that and react accordingly.
