I Heart LV, Part I
Just when I thought my dating life had plateaued, along comes my buddy (the self-proclaimed "AngryOriental") from New York, in town for a week or so, insisting that a guy's trip to Las Vegas is in order. Never one to turn down a trip to my favorite vacation destination I willfully accepted. He was also able to talk another friend of ours into making the trek out to the desert's greatest mirage.
We arrived in Sin City around 9:00 on Wednesday night. Before indulging ourselves in forbidden delights, it was necessary to find some sort of nourishment. A quick meal at Denny's seemed to fit the bill at the time. Incidentally, this would be the last meal that I actually paid for on the trip (comp's are a beautiful thing). After receiving the intestinal fortitude that only Denny's can provide, we were off to start the night.
The three of us wanted to start off at the tables to see what kind of luck the weekend had in store for us. I plopped myself down at a blackjack table while the other two went to find a poker room somewhere. There was a group of girls seated to my right at the table. After a couple hands I struck up a conversation with the closest one. Turns out they lived about 20 miles from me and had graduated from one of the local universities. None of them were anything to write home about, but provided some decent conversation; not to mention, the one next to me had very nice breasts. Their struggle to stay within the confines of her shirt helped to keep me in good spirits when the cards tried to take the wind from my sails. After flirting with them (the girls, not the breasts) for a while, I couldn't help but notice the closest one seemed to be more focused on me than her cards. I also made note that she was touching my arm quite a bit.
Am I really considering something with this girl? Crap, I just got here; can't start with the bottom of the barrel. But, look at those breasts. Damn, how much have I had to drink? Speaking of, that cocktail waitress hasn't been by in a whi- My internal dialog was cut short by an outside voice. "Sir, you have 16 showing, please signal whether you'd like to hit or stay."
Shit.
The girls left the table around one in the morning and before they departed they were sure to let me know that they were going to Tangerine at Treasure Island and suggested many times that I consider meeting them there and bringing my friends along. I told them I'd see what I could do.
I stayed at the table until 3:00AM when they closed down a few tables, including the one I was on. At that point, thanks to a couple lucky hands at the end, I was only down about $25. Although, I assuredly consumed well beyond that in alcohol. Leaving the casino, I gave my friends a quick call to see what their status was. They were still playing cards down the street and planned on being there for a while. Deciding to let them do their thing, I set off in search of my own action.
My thought processes, not quite as sharp as they were a few hours previous, led me to believe that it would be a fabulous idea for me to head over to Tangerine in search of my, now redefined, blackjack beauties. Once in Treasure Island, it took me a while, but I eventually found the circus tent that is Tangerine. I saw a group of four good-looking girls off to the side of the entrance, so I walked over to find out if the club was worth entering. As I approached, one of the girls started waving her hands at me, "Don't come any closer! We don't want you to talk to us!"
"Don't worry, I wasn't coming over to talk to you." I redirected my attention to one of the more attractive members of the group, "before your friend interrupted me, I was going to ask if you guys thought the club was worth checking out tonight?"
This time, the response was much warmer. "It's definitely worth your time, there are still a lot of people in the club," she said with a smile.
"Thanks, I won't bother you girls any longer."
I made my way up to the entrance of the club, handed the bouncer my ID and asked if there was a cover that night.
"Twenty-five bucks. Any chance you're a local?" came his automatic response.
"No, unfortunately I'm not. Actually, twenty-five bucks was a bit more than I was looking to drop; I'll check out the club another time."
"Don't worry about it, man. Just give me your hand so I can stamp it." And, with that, I was in the club.
The place was definitely still full of action. I took a lap around to see if the girls from the blackjack table had made it in. Not seeing them, I went over to one of the bars and ordered up a vodka Redbull. Drink in hand, I cruised onto the dance floor in search of worthy targets. Two girls soon caught my eye; the first was dancing with some guy while her friend stood by, looking somewhat disinterested. I watched them for a second and then scanned the rest of the floor. Nothing else of note, so I decided to see if I could spice up the [obvious] wingwoman's night a bit. As I turned in their direction to walk over, I noticed that the wingwoman was now talking to some random guy that was way out of her league. I approached the two of them and positioned myself such that the guy who was talking to her was now standing between her and me with his back to me. I caught her attention and, while pointing at the guy, mouthed out, "are you two together?"
She smiled and subtly shook her head, no. Excellent. I sidestepped the other guy and walked up to her side to introduce myself. It turns out the guy was part of their group, but there was nothing going on between the two of them. I danced with LVWingwoman for a bit and then we retired to a lounge area to talk for a bit. Turns out that she too lived about 20 miles away from me. How is it that every time I go to Vegas I meet someone that lives only miles from my home?
Things were going well and I could definitely tell that LVWingwoman was interested in something. Fortunately for me, the club was shutting down for the night, which meant it was time to see if all this effort was going to pay off. As the lights came up, LVWingwoman's friend and the random guy she'd picked up came over to where we were sitting. Before I could offer up any suggestions, LVWingwoman asked if I'd like to accompany them back to their hotel.
Like shooting fish in a barrel, I smiled to myself.
We jumped in a cab and were whisked off to the Hard Rock. Before I knew it, the four of us were up in the girls' room and LVWingwoman was offering me a drink. At that point, I was pretty much drunk off my ass and knew that if I put any more alcohol into my system, then all of it would be coming back out. Not wanting the party to stop, however, I asked that she just make up one drink for the two of us to share. That way, I could just pretend to drink and she could keep knocking them back.
I've never been in any of the Hard Rock hotel rooms before; they're actually quite nice. This particular room had a set of French doors that offered up a perfect view of the infamous Hard Rock pool. At the time, only one of the two doors was opened out to the balcony, so the view was half obscured by the other door. I don't know what came over me at the time, but I felt that both doors needed to be open so that I might see as much of the pool as possible. I sauntered over to the closed door, flipped the top latch and then bent over to open the bottom one as well. Unfortunately, this was not unlike an overzealous Scotsman giving his bagpipes a good squeeze and producing some less than harmonious music. Except, in this case, substitute my gas-filled intestine (thank you, Denny's!) for bagpipes and a nice audible fart for less than harmonious music. I was really too drunk to care at that point, and failed to give the situation any unneeded attention, except perhaps to mumble something about the hinges needing to be greased. I don't think anyone else noticed, or if they did, they too were too drunk to acknowledge anything.
The next half hour or so was spent hanging out in the room, alternating between the balcony and the bedroom. The girls changed into their pajamas, LVWingwoman and I continued to flirt, exchanging a few kisses in the process. I left the room for a minute to go to the bathroom and when I returned, the other couple was lying in one bed while LVWingwoman waited for me in the other.
I climbed into bed with her. "Why don't you turn off the light," she asked. I removed myself from the bed to follow through with her request. Before returning to her side, I removed the majority of my clothes. As soon as I hit the sheets, she was all over me. In moments, we were both down to just our underwear and I quickly found myself on the bottom of a two-player scrum. Things were warming up fast and the heat from her crotch nearly seared my thigh. I happened to glance over at the other bed and noted that LVWingwoman's roommate was atop the other guy and riding him, her hips grinding rhythmically into his.
Talk about a random night! LVWingwoman turned my face back in line with hers and kissed me deeply. I slid my hand into her, now, soaking wet panties.
Holy meat locker, Batman! This chick has some serious beef curtains! Just as I was about to remove her panties, she whispered in my ear, "we can't have sex tonight."
WTF? "That's ok." My head was a dizzy, spinning mess at that point and, as much as I was ready to get up and leave, I felt better lying down for a bit; even if it meant continuing to make out with Miss Chastity. Obviously feeling guilty for closing down the party, she took it upon herself to give me a handjob.
Yeah, like that makes it ok; shit, I could have stayed home and done this by myself. Just a tip, ladies: Man + Alcohol + Handjob = your arm is going to fall off!
Whatever, it's been a while since I've had a good hand job, I laughed to myself.
So, I'm sitting there, knocking the beef curtains around, she's going to town, jerking me off and I'm trying to think of every erotic thought possible in order to get off. By some miracle, I actually manage to blow my load. Now my stomach and part of her leg are covered in man goo; I start scanning the nearby area for some Kleenex, but there isn't a box to be found. I mention the predicament to LVWingwoman.
"No problem," she assures me. She then proceeds to take the bedspread and wipe everything up.
That is so nasty! Remind me never to touch another hotel bedspread again! And with that, I pass out.
I awoke a couple hours later (still buzzed, mind you) and tried to make rhyme or reason out of my current situation. LVWingwoman was totally passed out next to me, the other couple was fast asleep in their respective bed and I was lying, naked, in a random hotel room in the middle of the Hard Rock in a mess of my own filth. Time to start the day!
I got out of bed and started to get dressed. I don't know what prompted it, but I decided that it was time to get the hell out that room as quickly as possible. I started trying to remember if I told LVWingwoman anything that would lead her to show up on my doorstep. My checklist came up empty, so I headed for the door. The second I started to pull it open, it squeaked so loudly that I felt my heart stop!
Oh shit! So much for the clean get-away. I slinked back over to the bed so that I could say goodbye and then leave with a semblance of dignity and respect. When I got to LVWingwoman's side, she was still completely passed out, oblivious to the fact that I had just tried to jump ship.
Hmmm. Fuck it, I'm making a run for it! I bolted for the door, swung it open as quickly and as quietly as I could and sprinted for the elevator. As soon as the doors closed I caught my breath and started laughing uncontrollably.
I composed myself as I exited the elevator and made my way out to the taxi stand. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, a cab finally pulled up to take me back to my hotel. When I got back to the room, both of the other guys were asleep, so I thought I'd be an ass and wake them up to tell them the tale of my night. I don't remember which one I decided to wake up first, but I do remember how I did it. I held my, still vag-scented, fingers directly under his nose until he woke up, realized what I was doing and lunged for me. Expecting such a warm welcome, I dodged a fist or two before calming everyone down enough to start recounting my night.
As much fun as that night had been, the next night had an even better experience in store for me…
